Neglected

I never had it before you came along. And now I don't know. Should I revel in this emotion that captured my attention...my soul.....and still won't let go? Or do i loathe this sensation and you for leaving me with it. Though you won't stimulate it anymore. It's like a garden you've neglected. But the weeds continue to grow around me. You haven't watered me....fed me in months. But my roots are still embedded in this dirt. I'm not dead, just neglected. I can't forget anything. I don't know that I want to. But I know I hate my details and my mind slowly stealing my sanity twisting this thing around a million times a day. Inside my head trying to figure out what I could've done to have made this end differently. Still no answers. I have a love that won't die. One that I'm not used to. So I'm trapped. But you were more fortunate. You found your escape. And now I'm in this prison all alone. How I wish you would come back and cut this plant from the ground. Finish me please. I won't make a sound. I don't even now while I lay still awake on the floor. With memories like indignant warriors battling for space. Flashing before my eyes like home movies. And I'm thinking I'm so naive. And I shouldn't have gotten so close. And I should've taken just a few steps back. That way when the inevitable came to it's peak. I wouldn't have ended up bawled into a corner needing new body parts. The explosion powerful. In the way that it wasn't anything. Just a silent night. Which spawned silent days and empty air. Without words, voices, texts, letters, without you. Not explosive at all with you just fading away. And now you're gone. And the garden still grows.