Apparent Transparence

Going to go in and get some extra hours today. We're supposed to be having a family reuninon in September down in Titusville. Got an invitation for that today. Need more liquor to drown the nights. Hung out with Christina a few times. She's absolutely crazy and it freaks me out that all the craszies gravitate towards me. But I feel for her and everyone needs a friend, who is just a regular person they can talk to without that person trying to get something for it. And I'm the one. Nice regular no conditions friendship. I got that to give away like skin cells. Supposed to hang out with a new girl. She seems really cool. We'll see. Still miss the frosting to my cupcake like mad. Love of my life. Center of my dreams. Wonder how she's doing. Wish she'd call me and tell me she was doing great. And that everything is going well. And that she's come to terms with our fate. Or that she missed me like mad too and she's empty without me. Wanting me everyday and wishes things were different. Either would do. Anything is better than not knowing. Anything is better than silence. I wonder how Destiny's birthday party went. Anyways time for me to get my life and shit together......::nods:: more on that later.